Author: stroi

  • I Like Walking

    A few years ago, I was driving home after doing some paperwork at the offices for the company I work for. It was a school day and as I was driving through a school zone, a woman ran a red light, going so fast that my car did a complete 90 degree turn. I hit my mouth and jaw on the steering wheel so hard that I whited out for an uncertain amount of time. All I know is that once i recovered, there was a constable or deputy there (I don’t remember which one, but I’ll refer to them as deputy so I don’t have to type more).

    As I gathered my glasses, phone and insurance from the glovebox, I felt a metallic taste in my mouth. I had cut the inside of my lip with my teeth and was bleeding. A lot. After the deputy questioned us and got a statement from both myself and the lady who hit me, she proceeded to tell me that she believed that this was the lady’s fault. The lady was seen by the paramedics who arrive on scene before me and it was very brief. She had a minor arm injury. I, unfortunately, was concussed (although the inside of my lip stopped bleeding, thankfully). The paramedics kind of implied that they wanted to take me to the hospital, and even though I was a enrolled a local service that provides help with medical bills, I didn’t have health insurance and didn’t want to pay for a ride in an ambulance. Reluctantly, they let me walk home, as I was only a few blocks from my house.

    The very next day, I tried to get the police report and afterwards got a lawyer to help with this case. The lawyer accepted the case without hesitation and said that while we waited for the police report, I should see a chiropractor for the body aches I was feeling in the meantime. But days went by, and after going to a nearby precinct almost daily, there still was no report.

    About two weeks later, I am at the chiropractor’s getting my therapy (which was essentially just those automatic back massagers) when the chiropractor barged in, looking very very irritated. He proceeded to tell me that I need to leave because my lawyer had dropped the case. At this point, I was very confused because I hadn’t talk to my lawyer all day.

    Turns out the deputy had just posted the report (AFTER TWO WEEKS!) and changed the story to make it seem like I was turning (I wasn’t, I was hit so hard that my car turned!), so there was no case.

    To summarize things (and excuse my language), I got fucked. I got fucked by everything that was supposed to help me out in the circumstance that I found myself in. I lost the car that my grandfather helped buy for me before he died and got NOTHING from it.

    But that’s just my luck. I have to live with it.

    All this to say, I’ve found enjoyment in walking now.

    You can mostly go at your own pace, avoiding traffic. It gives you time to really look around and notice things around you that you never really would notice otherwise. And being from a big city, there are a lot of interesting things and people you wouldn’t notice if you were focused on anything else. Some time last month, I noticed a car with two people in it with face paint that was akin to mimes. And then your mind can just wander… Where were these mime people going to or coming from? Are they even mimes? Why are there mimes even around here? Is this the beginning of some sort of mime-gentrification plot?

    I guess it’s good exercise, too… and yes. In this big ol’ city, it can be VERY difficult to get around to certain parts of town without a vehicle and I’ve got ways to get around that.

    But you know what?

    I like walking.

  • A Choppy, Yet Sincere Introduction

    This will be a place to post some of the thoughts I have to share publicly.

    Hopefully, some of these thoughts and ideas might be helpful to someone, somewhere. This might be all in vain, but I like the idea of being able to collect my thoughts, ideas, and experiences in hopes of sparking some sort of inspiration out there in the world.

    You see, recently, I have been having a lot of communication with a new friend I made not too long ago. She will be referred to as “Bunny Girl” from here on out. Bunny Girl suggested that I start a journal and after starting to reread Zoe Thorogood’s “It’s Lonely At The Centre Of The Earth,” I had this stupid idea to express it all on the internet.

    What could possibly go wrong?

    Anyway.

    I go by the name Stroi here on this internet space. I was the bassist, singer, sysadmin, logo designer, cover artist, merch designer, etc. for the band Carbide. Basically, if no one would to do it, I was there learning how to do it or commissioning someone to help me bring my vision for this group to life. I can discuss how and why Carbide ended in another post, but to sum it up, I got tired of feeling like things would never progress unless I was directly involved in it, because any time I would try to delegate things to other members, things would never get done.

    I’m trying to do the whole “streaming” thing now, because it’s another outlet for me to entertain. And how I love to entertain.

    About a year ago, I met a small streamer, Tsukki, and what became of that was a spiral into a community where I felt that I could simply be myself without any pressure. Shortly after, for some reason, she had this crazy idea to trust me as a moderator in her community (Funny, right? Who would trust a chaotic person like me with their community after knowing me for such a short time?). So, I took that responsibility and really invested myself in that, finding new friends and integrating with other various communities.

    Eventually, after a couple of talks where I expressed interest in the idea of starting a stream of my own, Tsukki convinced me to start streaming, myself. And, honestly, I’ve had a lot of fun doing it.

    I’ve been out of work recently, so I should probably be investing more time into streaming… but with the internet connection I have, it’s kind of been difficult. Also, I’ve kind of been spending a fair bit of time talking to Bunny Girl, lately.

    We’ve talked about a lot of things the past few weeks. But the one things that has been revived from these conversations is my love of cooking. You see, she is Vietnamese and has been sharing recipes and whatnot with me. Her first recommendation was tofu with this tomato sauce. I had never tried to cook tofu, but I forgot to pat it dry before searing it and… ruined it. I managed to still use the tomato sauce by running to the store and just serving it on grilled chicken.

    Afterwards, I had all these leftover ingredients that I never really used (I ended up with a bottle of fish sauce about the size of a wine bottle). So. Naturally, I decided to look into recipes to where I could put these ingredients to use. I had some pork chops and made this recipe (and the dipping fish sauce mentioned) using ingredients I had in my kitchen. I talked to Bunny Girl afterwards and expressed how much of an improvement it would be to the flavor if I had some starchy white rice to go with it and she agreed (although, I’m pretty sure she mentioned it first). So now, I have a rice cooker, ingredients that I’m still getting familiar with, and someone to help guide me through this culinary adventure that I am very excited for.

    I still need to try her chicken curry recipe.

    I feel like I’m rambling a bit now, so I think I’ll leave you all with this. More context will be added later.

    Life is complex. Sometimes you feel miserable, sometimes you feel at peace. But the things that make you who you are. The things that give you a sense of identity. The things that give you that little bit of respite in this crazy, crazy world. Those are the things that make everything worth living.

    To vaguely quote the end of “It’s Lonely At The Centre Of The Earth,” sometimes simply asking someone, in earnest, if they were okay, your impact on this world is already phenomenal.

    Thank you for reading this mess of an introduction. Hopefully, I can learn to organize and collect my thoughts better as I keep this updated.

    I hope you are doing well and take care.

    You deserve it.